I thought of a fandom life as a lame, dull-boring but my perspectives
brought out to be corrected when I engaged in such way of living. I
never thought of having such musical-realistic way of celebrating life's
diversity. At first, I hesitated to step inside the circle, I jumped to
conclusions that I will be out of the range and will never ever relate
their style. Well, as a first-timer in the scene, there is always a
feeling of weirdness and discomfort but when you get in the flow and
learned to to blend in, you'll be able to catch up.
I used to be
normal back then. It's not that I became abnormal but a colored life to
be describe in a simple manner. No posters in the walls of my room, just
plain white and black t-shirts, family photos hanged and displayed at
my study table and music with the same genre and beat. I hesitated in
decision-making and can't stand my beliefs and easily influenced by
other people's debatable opinions.
As I learned to study and adapt
the Korean pop culture, I found my self reborn as a new persona as I
embraced my new way of living. I entered the doors and didn't limit
myself to learn and interact with other co-stans and together, we had
embrace and adapt the culture despite of our racial differences. That
then my life shifted. I now collect stamps, posters, ballers and
stickers. Lighters had been replaced by light sticks, family photos had
been kept in the drawer and those new boy bands in black and white suit
made its throne at the top of my table, t-shirts are no longer lame
black-and-white but had been shouting those fandoms and bias. The music I
used to listen in the same genre had been crossed out from the playlist
and all those KPOP songs made their spots on my phone. Everytime I have
a favorite song, I played it a million times before I go to the next to
be played.
Being under the influenced of KPOP, I met amazing and
open-minded people. Despite of the continental and language barrier, we
still manage to link our hearts and mind as one in supporting our
favorite KPOP groups in their concerts and tour. We had our
commonalities. We never discriminate races. As long as you have lived
and embraced the Korean culture, we considere you as family. That's what
make us, fandoms, very solid and still. We build bridges beyond the
gaps. We destroy the barriers that set us apart. We never judge nor
stereotype people, instead we embrace them. As what a psychiatrist said,
he address his opinion to all KPOP fans.
“Don’t underestimate
those children who chase after Korean celebrities, their hearts are
purer than anyone else, they love courageously, they will want to try
their best to tackle difficult obstacles, the language and cultural
barriers. They symbolize peace, they don’t discriminate based on race,
they befriend people with the same interest from different countries,
they’re more passionate and warm than anyone else. They don’t betray the
ones they like easily, they are persistent and don’t give up easily.
They are stronger than anyone else on the inside, because when they are
loving these Korean stars, they experience the setbacks they’ve never
experienced in life. They are all sensitive children, easily touched to
tears for a long time because of one incident. Their memory is very
good, they can easily remember the korean lyrics they don’t understand,
and their coordination skills are also very strong. Most of them are
cheerful children, not the kind who keep to themselves. Their will of
determination is also very strong, they are able to persevere all the
way just to buy something related to the celebrity they like. In short,
the way these children think is vastly different from others, and their
thoughts are not easy to understand. Generally, only those who have
similar interests are able to enter their world."
That then I have
a strong believe in whatever decision I make cause I have the power.
Those KPOP group taught us how to build ourselves and grow in accordance
of what we are. Living with a KPOP fandom may be weird to anyone else
but for us, it is the empowerment of our inner selves. It is our
motivation to do what we want to do and break the chains that bind us
and limit us to try new things. It is our freedom. The culture. The
music. It lift us up and bring us out the new personality we have that
we thought we never have it. It is our libido to dream and believe we
can achieve it. As I grow in to a mature being, my system lived the
fandom life I had and it had been part of me since then. The KPOP
fandom molded me in some ways which I thought at first as dull-boring,
but as it turned out, it became the crayon that added rainbow to my
black and white perspective.
